The Short Straw

Straws I’ve tried, straws knows I’ve tried.

  1. metal straws

    You can put these metal straws in the dishwasher (bendy ones too), and once you have a pack of them you will never run out of straws again.


    • They are reusable and can go in the dishwasher so you can never run out of them, you can only lose them or they can be dirty.


    • They get really hot when you drink hot fluids out of them.
    • They get really cold when you drink cold fluid out of them.
    • They hurt your teeth if you bang your face into them whilst aiming for the straw and hurt your cheek if you hit your cheek on them whilst driving through the house and stop suddenly.

    6/10, would not buy again! (In fact of course I don’t need to as I already bought them and they never run out, which is why they get a 6 at all.) Seemed like a great idea but generally are not as cool as they appear to be.

  2. bubble tea straws

    We bought these little fat straws for a couple of reasons: one being that it’s easier to drink from a cup whilst lying on your side in bed with a small straw and the other being that we thought the coffee might taste better if I could get more of it into my mouth at once (and smell it). They are 1cm in diameter, so really fat.


    • Coffee does taste better.
    • You can drink a whole cup of coffee in one go without really noticing.


    • They don’t fit in my KeepCup which mainly how I drink coffee.
    • You can drink a whole cup of coffee in one go without really noticing.

    8/10 Very good but a bit TOO chuggable.

  3. milkshake straws

    I use standard milkshake straws most often. They are long enough so that I can reach them easily when they are in my keepcup, and wide enough that I can drink a reasonable amount of liquid in one go.


    • Not reusable so you have to buy more all the time. They cost 2p each or about £20pa buying at the thousand-pack rate.
    • Carers put them in the dishwasher and they can leech harmful chemicals.


    • Your coffee will taste better.
    • You can get more coffee in one go.
    • You won’t hurt your face if you crash into them.
    • You can always have a sneaky cheek scratch, when no-one’s looking, with them.

    9/10 I always come back to these.

  4. bendy straws

    These are the straws that people will come back with if you send them to the corner shop to get straws. They are typically rubbish.


    • Readily available and cheap.


    • They are generally too short, so I can’t reach them in my chair.
    • So thin that you would have to be able to suck a bowling ball through a hose to be able to get a drink.
    • The G&as%jck$k!! bend is always pointing away from you, no matter which way it is left.

    2/10 They are technically straws.