Chillow Fail

Do you remember the Innovations catalogue? I used to flick through that when I was a kid and wonder, amazed, at just WHO bought all that rubbish. Well, now I’m grown, I have looked into the abyss and the abyss has looked into me. It is me! You encounter weird problems, you try weird solutions.

Stuart gets a hot head. I mean seriously hot. It’s always burning hot, especially when he’s lying down. You could put a freezing cold wet flannel on his forehead and it would be warm in less than a minute. (I’ve always wondered if you could cook eggs on it). So before we found the Kool Paks we tried half a dozen different head cooling contraptions, the Chillow being the most memorable. (They stopped making this product and there are lots of fakes online now, but we had a real one from the manufacturer.)

The Chillow is a plastic pillow you fill with cold water. On the top there’s a layer of gel that exchanges the heat from your head with the cold of the water. My guess is the theory is the larger body of water will cool the smaller mass of the head? The Chillow does not work. Maybe it works for people with slightly warm heads. Maybe it works for people with intermittently hot heads, so there’s time for the water to cool again. But for someone like Stuart, what it actually does is:

  • Smell weird
  • Warm up in ten minutes
  • Insulate his head for the rest of the night, superheating him to inferno

Inferno!! Chillow fail.

…Now I am flicking through Amazon supposedly looking for the actual product and actually ordering more crazy shit in the Hot Cold Therapy section oh god help me!